Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
