no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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