...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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