Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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