i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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