You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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