Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize