I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
