Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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