My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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