this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I came so hard my ears popped.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
