He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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