Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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