A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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