doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
