the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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