So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
