i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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