we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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