She is in my trunk
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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