Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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