By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
