Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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