State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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