Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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