he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am naked and annoyed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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