This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
