i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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