I'd wear matching sweaters with you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
