Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
