I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
