all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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