the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
