Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
