the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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