going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
