So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
