Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
