Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
