well I can't set my house on fire every night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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