nut hugger
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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