Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pants are for mortals
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
