I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
