I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Randomize
