Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Michael Bay diarrhea
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My dick has a subreddit
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
