i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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