I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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