The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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