she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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