Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
